Vadermort
by loverly8
Summary: A oneshot parody I came up with on a Sunday morning. It's basically, as you can tell from the title, mocking Star Wars. Notes: HBP spoilers, must who Darth Vader, from Star Wars is to actually get this


AN: Finally I decided to write a one-shot parody. I've wanted to do this for a while but could never get my mind going enough on the subject. Anyways, enjoy my interesting humour and don't laugh too much!

Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, The Chosen One, or whatever you'd like to call him, was in a graveyard. This particular graveyard was one he had visited before, about three years ago. At that time, Voldemort was trying to kill him, at this time, he still is.

Harry's reason for being in the graveyard was that he had been captured, by Severus Snape. Yeah, the Greasy Git, whatever you want to call him, has captured Harry Potter and taken him to a graveyard, which, by the way, has Voldemort hiding in it.

Harry's and Voldemort's wands lay discarded. This battle would be an insult battle and no wands were allowed. (Unless they have been jinxed, cursed, whatever, to yell insults at the person you are fighting with.)

"I don't know why you think you are so great Voldemort." Harry said. "You are just an old, bald, skinny, ugly, dirty, horrible man, whose nose is in dire need of plastic surgery."

"What's wrong with my nose?" Voldemort screamed. "Everyone insults the nose, even the Death Eaters!"

Harry laughed so hard he was on the ground. When he got up he said, "At least I didn't kill my father, like you did Voldy."

"Voldy… you called me Voldy. I think I'm going to cry." Voldemort stuttered. "Wait! How do you know that I killed my father?"

"Dumbledore told me, before your stupid lackey, Severus Snape killed him!" Harry yelled.

"At least I know who my father is er… was. You don't know who yours is. In fact only two people actually know who your father is." Voldemort attacked.

"What? My father is James Potter, they all say I look like him!" Harry yelled, trying to make sense of what Voldemort had told him.

"James Potter isn't your father. Never was." Voldemort said remarkably calmly. "Your mother Lilly wasn't exactly well… faithful to old James. She never told James that the child that she had was not his."

"So, who is my father then?" Harry asked waiting in anticipation.

"I am your father." Voldemort stated.

"Um… Vadermort, have you been watching too much Star Wars?" Harry asked carefully.

"Vadermort? Is that supposed to be funny? What is this Star Wars?" Voldemort cried loudly.

_That is what happens when you become evil. You miss all the good movies! _Harry thought. _Hmm… you know I do have Voldy here all alone. Snape the Git has left. I think I should kill him, because otherwise he would be locked up for the rest of his life. That would be sad. _

While Harry was contemplating whether or not to kill Voldemort, someone beat him to it.

"Avada Kedavra!" A voice yelled. A flash of green light emitted from the figures wand and hit Voldemort square in the chest.

"Hey Harry! I just killed your arch-enemy, can you lend me some gold?" Ronald Weasley asked as he walked out of the shadows.

'But… you… killed… daddy…" Harry whimpered, moving over to where Voldemort's lifeless body lay. "Daddy, wake up! Daddy!"

Ron looked at Harry as if he were nuts. "Harry… are you ok?" Ron asked.

"No! You killed Daddy!" Harry yelled. In a softer voice he added. "Ron, he's my father. He just told me. Mom cheated on Dad with… him."

"I see. Well, I'm sorry mate, but he has tried to kill you…" Ron stopped, and started counting on his fingers. "Five times."

"I guess you're right Ron. He DID try to kill me five times. Anyways this is so like Star Wars. Assuming I am Luke Skywalker and Voldemort is er… was Darth Vader, this is totally odd. Darth Vader never tried to kill Luke. He just wanted to turn him to the dark side."

"Yeah…" Ron added.

"Anyways, Ron, you want to go kill some mudbloods?" Harry asked as the pair walked out of the graveyard and into the centre of London, England.

An: I really really want reviews for this because I am still not quite sure whether I am good at this humor thing. Tell me if I should do more humor or stick to my romantic stories. Thanks for the input!


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